http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/-t1.htm Good clean fun Fri, 26 Sep 2008 12:10:10 GMT 10 http://i57.servimg.com/u/f57/12/87/17/15/sbcd10.jpg http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/-t1.htm http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/a-few-words-t59.htm dale kesterson A Few Words Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50." The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100." The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon and it takes eight people ... Humor Fri, 26 Sep 2008 12:10:10 GMT http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/a-few-words-t59.htm#67 http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/a-few-words-t59.htm http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/the-short-sermon-t55.htm J Walterhouse to the congregation, "My dog got into my office and ate
all my notes."

On the way out the door, a visitor said to the pastor,
"If your dog ever has pups, would you see that my
minister gets one?"]]> Humor Wed, 17 Sep 2008 11:55:50 GMT http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/the-short-sermon-t55.htm#62 http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/the-short-sermon-t55.htm http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/what-s-the-matter-with-me-t54.htm J Walterhouse up his nose, a carrot in his left ear, and a banana in his
right ear.

"Doctor, what's the matter with me?" he asked.

The doctor replied, "You're not eating properly."]]> Humor Tue, 16 Sep 2008 14:13:05 GMT http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/what-s-the-matter-with-me-t54.htm#61 http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/what-s-the-matter-with-me-t54.htm http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/things-you-don-t-want-to-hear-from-tech-support-t53.htm J Walterhouse 1. Do you have a sledgehammer or brick handy? 2. You're right, not even MacGyver could fix that. 3. Bummer Duuuuuuuude. 4. Ok, take the frimmerjammer that is attached to the thingamabob and put it in the whatchmacallit. 5. Press 1 for Support, Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes, Press 3 if you're with the IRS. 6. We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape, and a car battery. 7. I'm sorry. I'm afraid I can't do that. 8. Hold on ... Humor Mon, 15 Sep 2008 12:00:38 GMT http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/things-you-don-t-want-to-hear-from-tech-support-t53.htm#60 http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/things-you-don-t-want-to-hear-from-tech-support-t53.htm http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/you-have-to-think-about-this-one-t50.htm J Walterhouse Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had the same qualifications, so in order to determine which one to hire, the applicants were asked by the department manager to take a test. Both men missed only one of the questions. The manager went to the first applicant and said, "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the job to the other applicant." "And why would you be doing that?" asked the rejected ... Humor Fri, 12 Sep 2008 11:52:42 GMT http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/you-have-to-think-about-this-one-t50.htm#57 http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/you-have-to-think-about-this-one-t50.htm http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/i-think-i-met-this-guy-before-t49.htm J Walterhouse A big, burly man visited the pastor's home and asked to see the minister's wife, a woman well known for her charitable impulses. "Madam," he said in a broken voice, "I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this city. The father is dead, the mother is too ill to work, and the nine children are starving. They are about to be turned into the cold, empty streets unless someone pays their rent, which amounts to $400." "How terrible!" ... Humor Thu, 11 Sep 2008 13:02:31 GMT http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/i-think-i-met-this-guy-before-t49.htm#56 http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/i-think-i-met-this-guy-before-t49.htm http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/pastor-s-kids-t48.htm J Walterhouse The pastor's little six-year-old daughter had been so naughty during the week, that he decided to give her the worst kind of punishment. He told her she couldn't go to the Sunday School Picnic on Saturday. When the day came, he felt that he had been too harsh and changed his mind. When he told the little girl she could go to the picnic, the child's reaction was one of gloom and unhappiness. "What's the matter? I thought you'd be glad to go to the picnic." the pastor said. ... Humor Wed, 10 Sep 2008 11:59:53 GMT http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/pastor-s-kids-t48.htm#55 http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/pastor-s-kids-t48.htm http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/letters-to-the-president-t47.htm J Walterhouse Dear Mr. President: How much money does the president make? Could you please write and tell me because if it isn't enough money then I will become a dentist. --Timoth U., age 7 Jamestown, NY When will we have a woman president? I am ready. --Brooke A, age 10 Peoria, IL Do you have any friends in Congress? My mom says your only friend is the vice-president. --Richard D., age 8 Greenwich, CT Someday I hope there will be a woman president. But not my sister. ... Humor Tue, 09 Sep 2008 11:19:24 GMT http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/letters-to-the-president-t47.htm#53 http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/letters-to-the-president-t47.htm http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/that-s-not-what-she-wanted-to-hear-t41.htm J Walterhouse A devoted wife had spent her lifetime taking care of her husband. Now he had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to senses, he motioned for her to come near him. As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you ... Humor Mon, 08 Sep 2008 12:48:14 GMT http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/that-s-not-what-she-wanted-to-hear-t41.htm#46 http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/that-s-not-what-she-wanted-to-hear-t41.htm http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/confessions-t40.htm Admin So I was having lunch with Bobby Fischer, the former world chess champion, and the table had a checkered tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass the salt. I was stunned last night when my wife told me I was too wrapped up in myself. When did I get a wife? I may not know what I'm doing, but I'm pretty sure I'm doing it brilliantly. A dollar may not go as far as it used to, but what it lacks in distance, it makes up for in speed. There's nothing wrong with teenagers ... Humor Fri, 05 Sep 2008 11:24:27 GMT http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/confessions-t40.htm#45 http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/confessions-t40.htm http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/understanding-help-wanted-ads-what-they-really-mean-t38.htm J Walterhouse Competitive Salary - we remain competitive by paying less than our competitors. Join our fast-paced team - we have no time to train you. Casual work atmosphere - we don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings. Must be deadline oriented - you'll be six months behind schedule on your first day. Some overtime required - some time each night and some time each weekend. Duties will vary - anyone in the office can boss ... Humor Thu, 04 Sep 2008 12:36:48 GMT http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/understanding-help-wanted-ads-what-they-really-mean-t38.htm#43 http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/understanding-help-wanted-ads-what-they-really-mean-t38.htm http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/the-christian-dentist-t37.htm J Walterhouse A dentist came home to his wife excited about the day's events. He had met a fellow dentist who had served in the mission field using his dental skills. "Honey, I think the Lord wants me to work with the poor in Central America. They are in great need of dental care," He explained with enthusiasm. "Dear, it isn't civilized down there. I've heard that they have cockroaches the size of bats. And no running water." "Honey, the Lord will provide for our needs ... Humor Wed, 03 Sep 2008 12:19:09 GMT http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/the-christian-dentist-t37.htm#42 http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/the-christian-dentist-t37.htm http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/his-her-definitions-t35.htm J Walterhouse COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni- kay-shon) Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner. Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another. Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn- ment) Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book. Male...... Anything that ... Humor Tue, 02 Sep 2008 11:11:29 GMT http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/his-her-definitions-t35.htm#39 http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/his-her-definitions-t35.htm http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/camping-tips-t30.htm J Walterhouse Camping Tips Shine a flashlight into one ear. If the beam shines out the other ear, do not go into the woods alone. A two-man 'pup' tent does not fit two men or a pup. A potato baked in the coals for three hours makes an excellent hockey puck. You can start a fire without matches by eating Mexican food, then breathing on a pile of dry sticks. In emergency situations, you can survive in the wilderness by shooting small game with a slingshot made from the elastic waistband ... Humor Fri, 29 Aug 2008 11:46:33 GMT http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/camping-tips-t30.htm#32 http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/camping-tips-t30.htm http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/a-golf-funny-t29.htm J Walterhouse A foursome of senior golfers hit the course with waning enthusiasm for the sport. "These hills are getting steeper as the years go by," one complained. "These fairways seem to be getting longer too," wheezed a second. "And somehow, the sand traps seem to be bigger than I remember 'em too," said the third. Hearing just about enough from his buddies, the oldest - and the wisest of the foursome at 87-years-old - piped up and said, "Fellas, ... Humor Thu, 28 Aug 2008 12:12:42 GMT http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/a-golf-funny-t29.htm#31 http://sbcdeaf.forumotion.net/humor-f33/a-golf-funny-t29.htm